Sweet on You
by luna-prime
Summary: Valentine's Day is approaching Sasazuka! When Sariel goads Kisaki into a bet to see which store can sell more seasonal items, Kisaki makes sure that Maou isn't going to let her down. Is Maou going to need Emi and Chiho's help to avoid certain doom? Meanwhile, Rika asks for Emi's help to work up the nerve to give a certain someone homemade chocolates. (Set after Volume 11.)
1. The Demon Generals Go Shopping

"Don't even think of asking for anything!" Ashiya tuttered as he power-walked through the grocery store, his arms pumping as he sped down the canned goods aisle. "I brought you here because Milord is indisposed at work and the purchasing limit for these 99¥ eggs is 2 per person." He leaned down close to Urushihara's face, towering. "And don't you forget that."

"I didn't even want to leave the house!" Urushihara rolled his eyes. "You give me smallest portions of Sugiya beef bowl when you guys get take-out. You can't even buy me a little something? Look at all this chocolate!" He gestured his arms to the display in the store. Yards of chocolate lined the shelves, decorated in shades of red and pink. Heart-shaped boxes with bright bows were stacked in neat lines.

Ashiya looked upon the displays with a withering glance. "Demon Castle can't afford that kind of useless frivolity. And chocolate has low nutritional value. Even if we had the money for luxuries, small appliances or even finely-crafted armor for our future campaigns would be a wiser choice." He nodded with a satisfied smile. "Milord would agree with me."

"Blah blah fiscal responsibility," Urushihara stifled a yawn. "You know, I'm just not finding this all that interesting," he shrugged. "Maybe I'll walk myself back to the apartment and do some online shopping."

Ashiya swiveled around, red in the face. "You wouldn't dare! The flash sale ends tonight!"

"Maybe I would," A smile widened on Urushihara's face. He had him. "And you'd be 2 cartons of eggs short. Deal?"

The taller demon general clenched his fist, narrowing his eyes at the other. "We've been far too lenient on you! Food! A PC! _Closet space._" But he fell silent for a second.

"Once it goes on clearance! Not a moment before. Do we have an accord?"

"You better keep up your end of the bargain."

Ashiya sighed. "Maou-sama, I'll have to beg your forgiveness for this month's budget. Hopefully he's having a better time of it than I am..."


	2. The Demon King and Seasonal Sales Goals

The last rays of sunset fell through the Hatagaya MgRonalds, coating it in a golden light. The few customers left ate their meals quietly, seated at the cheery red tables and at the bar stools bordering the windows. Long past the dinner rush, it only took a few workers to man the cashier and serve food. It was the last place one would expect a Demon King to be, let alone one doing a day of hard and honest work.

Acting shift manager Maou Sadao wasn't quite as calm as his surroundings. He and another coworker stood crowded in the stockroom, piles of promotional material and boxes stacked around. Maou turned to her and said, slightly winded, "Chi-chan, that's the last of the boxes," putting the last on a pile with a thud.

The short girl leaned against the cardboard signs decorated with bright hearts and absentmindedly tugged at her pigtails. "The regional office is really going all out this year, huh?"

Maou put his hand to his chin, in thought, "Yeah, it's smart of them. We usually don't have seasonal items around Valentine's Day but they're trying to capitalize on it this year. Kisaki-san said this was going to be the promo item for this month." He crouched down, pulled out a box cutter and started ripping open the boxes.

Chiho stood, watching him as he worked, the way his black hair messily fell around his deep red eyes. The tape holding the boxes parted with a zipping sound. He paused, and turned around suddenly with a puzzled look on his face, "Was there supposed to be anything else?"

Not expecting him to look up to meet her gaze she panicked and looked away quickly, a slight blush at her cheeks. "Aah! Uh, I, uh, don't remember Kisaki-san saying anything about that."

As if summoned by the discussion, Mayumi Kisaki poked her head into the stockroom. Her dark hair was styled in a low side ponytail and she wore the business attire - a yellow button-down, maroon vest, skirt and red hat - that marked her as the branch manager. "Everything going okay, Maou-kun?"

"Heh, speak of the devil," Maou murmured. After catching Kisaki's sharp gaze, he started. "I meant it in a good way. In a good way!"

With a wry smile, she looked on at Maou. She ran a tight ship with her no-nonsense attitude. If you crossed her, though … let's just say she could make angels and demons quake.

Maou recovered his presence of mind, and pulled out a plastic cup sealed with foil from the box. It was small enough to easily fit into his palm. "Kisaki-san, was there supposed to be anything else? I thought we had a special promo item this month."

His mouth quirked into a frown. "There's only these cups. Where's the rest of the inventory?"

She smiled. "Chiho-chan, pull out one of the posters from the box."

Chiho obeyed, dragging one out. "Kisaki-san!" She turned around revealing the sign. Dotted with hearts, it advertised special French fries with a special chocolate dipping sauce filled with Kenya brand chocolate.

"Chocolate sauce fries?!" Maou said, making a face.

Kisaki rolled her eyes. "Look. It's trendy. Think outside of the box, Maou. Don't be so conservative."

Maou bristled and opened his mouth to say something but decided better of it.

Chiho held the poster out and arm's length. "Well, it doesn't sound too bad. But as far as Valentine's Day goes it's not very romantic."

Kisaki's face fell. "Oh god, that's right, I nearly forgot the reason I came in here. Maou-kun, we just had a …guest… arrive out front that's being a nuisance. Could you go deal with him?"

Without waiting for his answer, she turned and started towards her office. Scrunching up her eyes as she massaged her temples, Kisaki gave a quick glance over her shoulder. "I just don't have the patience for it today."

Maou gave a glance to Chiho. "Chi-chan, if you could just sort through all these posters while I'm gone. I'll be right back."

He walked out of the stockroom and towards the dining area. Kisaki-san was usually good about dealing with unruly customers. Although there was one _particular _unruly customer that tried even Kisaki's patience. A flash of realization came to him and he gritted his teeth and steeled himself for the inevitable.

As he rounded the front counter, he saw a short man with shoulder length blue hair leaning over the counter, practically accosting the cashier. As the man turned and saw Maou, a haughty grin appeared on his face. Mitsuki Sarue, also known to Maou as a powerful Archangel.

"…Sariel."


	3. The Demon King's Manager Accepts a Bet

Behind Sariel was a line of customers, some absorbed in their phones but others impatiently looking over at the cashier. The young woman had her fuchsia hair tied up in a high ponytail under her visor. She had that strained retail smile - the kind that doesn't reach the corners of eyes - plastered on her face. Even from here, Maou could tell it would only be a few seconds until _someone_ lost her composure and punched him in the face.

"Why hello, Demon King. Please tell my goddess," he said with a hair flip, "her prince is waiting in the wings to be graced with her lovely presence."

Maou sidled up to Emi. "Alright, I'll take it from here."

"The hell you will," she said under her breath. "I can handle this loser fine on my own."

Maou knew Emi Yusa, also known to Ente Isla as the Hero Emilia Justina, could handle herself. Her celestial powers and battle prowess could tough it against demons, basilisks, traitorous Church high priests, and the occasional rogue Archangel. Despite being of slight build and pretty looks, she knew her way around a broadsword.

But when it came to the rough-and-tumble world of fast food, she was a rookie. Maou tried his best-which was barely-to put her down gently.

"The line of customers stretching to the next train station says otherwise," Maou said pointedly. He tried his best to keep a pleasant expression on his face so at least the guests at the end of the line wouldn't see them arguing. "Plus, Kisaki asked me to help. It's not like I'm trying to do something nice for you."

A slight smile played on Emi's face. "Of course not. Wouldn't that be out of character?"

Maou was caught off-guard for a second and-

Sariel leaned over the counter, a slight grimace on his face. "I hate to interrupt you two lovebirds, but THIS lovebird needs to speak to HIS lovebird."

Emi and Maou exchanged a glance. 

"No!"

"Are you crazy?"

Sariel waved his hands. "Look, I don't care about your lover's quarrel."

"It's NOT a-" Maou started but was cut off.

"I have a proposition for my goddess. To prove my worth."

Behind him someone yelled, "I have a proposition - Sell me some damn food!"

Maou sighed. "Okay, we're starting to get hecklers. Emi, could you _please_ open up another register? Seriously, I'll take it from here."

She slid over one position and started booting up the register. The line gave a relieved grumble. "Your wish is my command, _Maou-senpai_." She smirked.

He groaned and felt a flush of embarrassment rising to his cheeks. "Look, we agreed you weren't going to do that anymore. It's creepy. Just _not right_." He shuddered.

Emi ignored him and called out, "Welcome to MgRonald's! May I please help the next guest? Thank you for your patience."

He gave her a sullen glance and returned to the … man leaning so hard over the counter that he was practically falling onto Maou, trying wildly to get a look back into the kitchen?

"Pardon me, Sarue-san," Maou gritted his teeth as he took a step back. "But the counter is NOT for leaning on."

"My goddess," he replied sadly.

"You aren't even having a conversation with me anymore!"

At that, Sariel changed his mannerisms. The pained puppy dog look fell off of his face. Pulling himself off the counter, he stood up and straightened his tie. "Let it be known that Sentucky Fried Chicken is the superior fast food restaurant! What a travesty that my dear goddess is served by such unworthy footsoldiers."

"He's monologuing," Maou muttered to himself.

"Two Big Mag meals to go! They'll be ready in a moment," Emi chimed with a sweet smile. She took the customer's money with a deep bow.

As her eyes ducked out of view of the customers, she looked over at Maou with a furious glare and mouthed, "GET HIM OUT OF HERE."

"I had perhaps assumed wrongly that her subordinates ran restaurant worthy to the title 'rival.' But I was wrong."

Maou began to sweat. "Excuse me, sir. We're going to need you to order something or leave." How to get him to leave without causing further damage…

Just then a firm but feminine voice rang out behind Maou. "What's this you're saying about my employees? Is there a problem?" Maou got a sinking feeling. He hadn't shooed him off fast enough and now Kisaki-san needed to get involved.

"Holiest of radiances!" shined Sariel.

"Shouldn't that be … God?" Maou said, giving Sariel the side-eye.

The archangel immediately jumped out of line to kneel at Kisaki's side. "Join me! Leave these foolish excuses for food service employees!"

Maou, Emi and the rest of the employees working the front gave him an angry glance. 

"Maou, please take care of the customers," Kisaki said.

"But-" 

"No buts."

He cleared the current transaction and waved the customer up while trying to listen to Kisaki's conversation at the same time.

"You work so hard!" Sariel cried, "A paragon of beauty and strength such as yourself should have the world provided to her." He composed himself and stood up. "But I also understand you have reservations about me,"

"-and two sodas."

Maou blushed. "Ugh, I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?" The customer gave him a glare as he repeated his order and Maou rang it up.

"-my worth to you," Sariel said. "If SFC can sell more than seasonal items by the end of the lunch rush on Valentine's Day, then it shows we're the better store. I would never dare make claims to be a better manager, but let's be honest, your employees are a bit … lacking."

Maou tried to maintain a neutral expression as he grabbed the meals, crumpling the bags in his grip, and handed them to the customer.

"If you lose," Sariel continued, "you shall attend a romantic dinner with moi."

"Dinner? Uh-uh."

"… Then," Sariel said, screwing up his mouth, "…uh,yes! You will give me chocolates made by your own divine hands. And if I lose, I'll work for free for a month."

"That's against labor laws."

"Buy you dinner?"

"That's worse than losing."

Sariel shrugged. "Worth a shot."

"Buy you a dinner without attending then, although it pains me to say the words. And not bother you for a month."

"I accept, Sarue-san," Kisaki said simply.

"Eeh?! What?!" Maou and Sariel cried in unison. 

Not skipping a beat, Sariel recovered quickly and said, "Ah, I thought you would. I look forward to celebrating the holy day of Saint Valentine by receiving your sweet confections delivered to my lips! I bid thee … adieu," he said, sauntering out of the place.

The automatic doors slid shut behind him and Maou even saw him jump up and click his heels in joy. Great.

As Maou finished serving the last customer in line, he turned to look at Kisaki and could almost see the steam rising out of her ears.

Maou and Emi decided to edge just out of reach of Kisaki's arm span. No telling what could happen. But curiosity got the better of him and he murmured, "Kisaki-san … but why would you take that bet?"

"Maou-kun," she turned firmly, her eyes cold. "When someone throws down the gauntlet like that and insults your livelihood, you can't back down. It's the principle of the thing."

She clasped a hand on his shoulder. "I'm going to make that guy eat his words. I _know_ that my employees are reliable."

She lowered her voice and leaned in close. Maou started to get a sinking feeling. "And I know you'll be reliable too," she whispered. Her eyes turned flat and colorless. "In fact, I can provide some extra incentive for you."

Maou's blood ran cold and felt his teeth involuntarily begin to chatter. There were a number of things he was thinking of, all worse than the last. "No, Kisaki-san, I don't think I need any incentive.. Think I'm good."

Emi winced and looked over at Maou. She pretended not to notice the exchange and started wiping down counters and organizing menus. About the only thing she could think about was how glad she was to be the new guy at work, for once.

Kisaki had a mad smile on her face. "Maou-kun, you're my right hand man. You've been here the longest and that means that when I'm out of the office, _you__'re_ the person who will make or break this branch."

Maou was starting to feel a cold sweat upon his brow. "That's … that's good…"

"My bet with Sariel ends after lunch rush on Valentine's Day. If we haven't outsold them and I lose the bet," she paused to think for a moment, "consider yourself all set to wear a promotional Cupid costume outside for the dinner rush."

"Ugh…"

Her eyes glinted. "I'm counting on you, Maou-kun," she said as she slapped his shoulder and walked away. "Good talk!"

"Oh … okay…" he finished lamely. Even after Kisaki had left, Maou stood there, stock still. Emi finally felt safe enough to stop looking busy, and came and waved her hand in front of his face. "Maou? Maou!" She shook his shoulder, no dice. "Snap out of it!" Finally, she gave him a quick pinch on the arm. "For the love of God, people are watching you," she hissed.

Chiho came out from the back kitchen, carrying the promotional posters. "Maou-san, Kisaki asked me to put up the ads already. She seemed kind of worked u-" she cut herself off out of shock. Slapping the posters down on the counter, she ran over to him, shaking him slightly by the collar. "Maou-san, what's wrong? What happened?!"

"… I'm doomed.." Maou said, eyes still staring off emptily into space.


	4. The Hero Aids an Ally in Need

Maou slung on his hoodie in the employee break room. He carried himself with a slight slouch and a sullen gaze. Emi raised a eyebrow at the uncharacteristic display.

"That cloud over your head looks like it might rain any second now. Guess you've less faith in yourself than Kisaki does, huh?" she said, slinging her purse over her shoulder. Normally, that would have earned her a sharp retort but instead Maou just continued collecting his things.

"Emi," Chiho objected, "go a bit easier on him today. I mean, he just got dragged into all this."

Maou shuffled his feet towards the door without a word.

Emi sighed, "Poor Alas Ramus is going to have to see her dad be such a bummer at dinner today. Really."

Maou snapped her head over to her, "She is not! You are!"

"Can I just say that you are the epitome of wit when you're stressed?"

Maou grunted and walked out without saying anything else. Chiho, seeing this, tittered a bit and followed him out saying, "Maou-san, wait! It'll be okay."

In the silence of the break room, Emi allowed a quiet smile to break on her face and she started after them. Just as she reached for the doorknob, her cell phone began to ring. "Hmm? Who could it be at this hour?" she said, pulling the phone from her purse.

"Hey," a quiet voice said on the other line.

Emi paused a moment, taken aback. "Rika?"

"… I … I really need your help," said Rika. "I'm kind of at a loss and I don't know what to do."

Rika was usually so energetic and, well, downright bossy sometimes. Right now the tinny voice coming through the line sounded small and worried. Emi's heart began to race. "Rika? What's wrong? I'll- I'll be right over! Where are you?"

"I'm at the Ebisu Mitsuboshi Department Store," she said quietly. 

"Got it! On my way!"

She sprinted past Maou and Chiho, hurriedly. "Sorry, Maou! Chiho-chan! I'm going to be late to dinner. Personal emergency."

Maou eyes widened in surprise, "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I'm fine!" she said as she rushed out of the building at a half-jog, dodging the passerbys crowded in the street.

She looked over her shoulder at Maou, "Tell Alas Ramus I'll be home late, okay? Oof-" She slammed headlong into another pedestrian. "Sorry!" Maou and Chiho watched her give a frantic bow of her head without missing a step, and then she disappeared into the crowd.

Chiho called after her, "Emi! … I wonder what was wrong."

Maou shook his head, "Who knows?"

Stepping off the train platform, Emi weaved her way through the flow of people on the Shibuya streets and walked into the department store that Rika had mentioned. The scene was bright, sterile and clean. Older, well-dressed women crowded around cosmetic and perfume counters. While the wealth of the patrons made Emi a little self-conscious of her Eau de MgRonald's and the outfit she threw on before work this morning, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

Rika hadn't sounded like she was in any danger from something supernatural—she definitely would sound more panicked or confused if she was confronting a demon. But there was no sense in being careless.

Extending her senses, she willed her magic outward and searched for any potential negative energies. She waited a beat. But the only force she felt in the area was her own celestial pulse of magic, radiating like warm rays of sunlight.

Exhaling a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, she started up the escalator and dialed Rika's number. She answered on the second ring. "Hey, Emi," she said, "I'm on the 3rd floor. You'll know what you're looking for."

She walked off of the escalator into a huge Valentine's display. "Oh, no, Rika, you didn't…" They made the chocolate at the 100 yen store look pitiful by comparison. Row after row displayed finely-made, artisanal chocolates in heavy boxes, covered in plush fabric in hues of rich golds, reds, pinks and fuchsia.

Emi strolled around looking for Rika, frustration beginning to rise. Still, her eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the chocolates. Perfect smooth shapes lit by an artist's eye. Truffles topped with decorative frosted hearts, stars… Was that gold leaf? They looked beautiful.

A thought crossed her mind for a fraction of a second and she batted it away.

When she picked up her head, she noticed another girl wandering across her line of sight, lost in thought. The girl absentmindedly chewed her lip, looking back and forth at a box in each hand.

Rika.

Almost as if she had sensed Emi's gaze on her, she turned around and gave her a sheepish smile. "These are really nice. But they're not as personal as homemade. But then," she murmured, "I don't know if I could even work up the nerve!"

Emi stared for a second, trying to keep her face neutral. "This was your emergency? I was worried when you called out of the blue like that."

"Sorry I was so vague. It's kind of embarrassing to talk about, you know?" Rika shrugged her shoulders and laid down the chocolates gingerly, "Plus, what were you so worried about?"

Taken hostage by a demon lord from another world? Potentially tortured by a group of angels hellbent on getting to people I care about?

But there was no sense in making her as paranoid. Instead Emi shuffled her feet and said, "People can sometimes take advantage of a girl alone by herself."

Rika smiled. "You worry too much, Emi." Maybe not enough, Emi thought. The silence hung in the air a moment as she willed her thoughts to stop running wild. At a loss, she gestured around, "So, chocolate?"

"Yeah, Valentine's Day is coming up—"

"Oh, really? I hadn't noticed," Emi interrupted.

"Look, this is hard enough to say," Rika continued. "I want to give chocolates to… to …" she trailed off and looked away. Emi's heart skipped a beat.

Rika scrunched up her eyes, clasped her hands together and bowed, "…to Ashiya-san and I need your help!"

"A-Ashiya?" Emi stuttered, slack-jawed.

Rika turned pink and coyly turned to face the wall of hearts. After a second, she spoke. "I know, Emi. I know I should have said something before but I just couldn't."

"How long?"

"Since we first met in Sentucky," she replied matter-of-factly.

Emi sighed. "Rika, he's really bad business. You know that. I don't think you should get mixed up with a guy like him."

Hearing this, Rika swiveled around quickly. "Oh, really? What's so bad about Ashiya-san?"

"Uh, he's the right-hand man to a demon king from another world, bent on conquering humanity?"

An old woman tottering down the aisle muttered to nobody in particular, "Sounds like my ex-husband." Emi glared at her, "Hey, was I talking to you?" The old woman continued walking away, hands behind her back.

Rika turned back to Emi and crossed her arms, "And is that why Maou-san went to go rescue you from being kidnapped?" Emi winced. "He was just rescuing Alas Ramus - he didn't care about me at all; he said so himself."

"Girl, whatever you want to believe. And because Ashiya-san and Maou-san are such bad people," Rika continued, "that's why you go have dinner at their apartment all the time? So dangerous."

This time it was Emi's turn to flush. "That's not the same. Plus, Alas Ramus is counting on me. You want me to disappoint a child?"

Rika gave Emi a sideways glance, hands at her hips. "Yeah, because I seem to recall you going so infrequently before that. You always had time to, I dunno, grab lunch with me, or meet up after work." She slapped her head in a fake moment of clarity. "Oh, wait! No, you didn't! Because you were almost always hanging out at _their_ place!"

Emi gritted her teeth. "That was reconnaissance!" And while she felt that Rika was better off not dating a demon general, she couldn't come up with a good reason that would shoo her off. If anything, she could objectively see why her friend was interested - Ashiya was hard-working, serious, and loyal to his friends. And like Chiho, Rika wasn't the type of girl to be scared off just because her crush was also secretly a tall, dark, and handsome demon lord. Emi tried to contain a sigh. If anything, it just added to the appeal.

There were many reasons Alciel, one of the 4 great generals of the Demon Army, would make a terrible boyfriend for a vivacious(human) OL like Rika. Unfortunately, Ashiya Shirou had none of those problems. He'd really been nothing but a gentleman to Rika.

It didn't make Emi any more pleased.

She started to speak, but Rika held up a hand. "Look," said Rika, "I know you and Maou-san have some history—"

"That's putting it mildly, don't you think?"

"—but you obviously trust him on some level, right? And now you're working with him and Chiho-chan."

Emi swallowed but said nothing. Rika continued, "Emi, even if I don't precisely understand everything about your situation, I still trust your judgment. Because I'm your friend."

Emi's eyebrows furrowed and she tried to collect her thoughts. Rika had pure intentions. As it was, Emi was trying her hardest to protect her bestie from the magical equivalent of a World War. Getting involved with Alciel certainly would pull her closer into their business. And might even place her in harm's way.

But then again, Chiho was also in that very same situation and Emi hadn't been able to dissuade her. She had even saved their lives on a few occasions. Giving Rika grief about the same exact situation felt…unfair. If she did that, she'd be parenting her. Deciding what was best for her without her input. She wrung her hands, thinking of all the times she canceled plans with Rika to surveil Maou. And she _had_ been her very first friend when she arrived from Ente Isla. She stayed around even after finding out…

Emi sighed in resignation. "I understand."

"So you're in?" Rika countered. A huge smile spread across her face and her eyes gleamed mischievously. "Perfect," she said, leaning in close.

"What are you doing?!," Emi said, as her friend looped her arm around Emi's and started dragging the redhead towards the escalator. "I thought I was supposed to help you!"

"Oh, you are!" Rika replied cheerfully as she stepped on with Emi. "I'm just getting you to your first mission! You're going to be my man on the inside," she whispered in a low, conspiratorial tone.

"I'm your spy?! This is NOT what I signed up for!"

"First, you have to find out if he likes milk, dark or white. Then you have to find out if he likes sweet, fruity or spicy..."

Rika continued describing ever-more-specific types of chocolates while Emi watched the Valentine's display dwindle further away as the escalator descended, eventually disappearing.

"This was a trap," she muttered to herself.

When the doorbell rang to Demon Castle (aka the small, one-room apartment that Maou, Ashiya and Urushihara shared), nobody made a move. Urushihara was at his computer. Ashiya tended to the roux on the stove, and Suzuno quietly diced vegetables. Maou was at the table, head buried in his arms. He raised his head to look up at the door for a moment, narrowed his eyes and then just put his head back down.

"Papa?," giggled Alas Ramus. "Mama's home?" She was cuddled in Chiho's lap. Chiho smiled gently at the young girl, "Papa's a little tired today, sweetie."

The doorbell rang again.

Chiho rolled her eyes and placed Alas Ramus on the colorful play mat that was one of the toddler's greatest treasures. "Honestly, both of you—"

"What are you getting mad at me for? How is this any different than normal?" Urushihara demanded.

"Exactly," Chiho said marching towards the door. "Hey! Oh—"

Emi stumbled through the door, kicking off her shoes in a smooth motion and walking over to the table. Without a word, she slumped to her knees and put her head on the table. The rest of the occupants stared, dumbfounded.

Ashiya walked up, looming over them and Emi deliberately avoided meeting his eyes. How did she get roped into this? "This table is for dinner! Not sulking!" He scoffed. "First Milord and now you. What kind of behavior is this? I've half a mind to—oh, really!" Seeing the two of them not acknowledge his presence, he stalked off to angrily stir curry sauce.

"Looks like it went well," Maou said, turning his head in her direction. He didn't lift it off the table.

"Shut up."

Maou smirked, "Can I just say you're the epitome of wit when you're stressed?"

"I _hate_ Valentine's Day," she muttered.

"You and me both."


	5. The Demon King Holds a War Council

Maou rested his head on his palm and wordlessly moved curry rice around his plate. Empty plates around the table showed the remnants of what used to be dinner. Chiho smiled while playing with Alas Ramus. She threw a glance between Maou and Emi. The latter had been furiously texting through dinner while ignoring Ashiya's dirty glances for daring to cross his "No Technology at the Dinner Table" rule. The hiss of the tea kettle on the range was the only noise breaking the silence.

Ashiya sighed as he cleared plate and spoon away from Maou, "Drawn into a conflict through an alliance, that's what this is, Maou-sama. And don't play with your food." The dishes clattered as he dropped them into the sink. "Urushihara, it's your turn today." Suzuno shot the fallen angel a look as she wiped down the counters.

Maou grumbled. "And like any good vassal, I need to do my duty or Kisaki will have my head."

Urushihara turned from his PC and began walking towards the sink. "Was that a subtle hint?"

Maou, pointedly, said nothing but looked away. Chiho laughed nervously. Completely unaware of the tense mood in Demon Castle, Alas Ramus, let out a giggle.

Beep. Emi frowned but picked her phone up, and typed out what looked like a terse reply.

Carrying a pot of tea, Ashiya set it down in the middle of the table and joined the rest of the group. "I'm done here; I'll get the cups," Suzuno called out. She untied the simple apron she wore, shook out the dish towel, and hung it up over the sink. Squeezing by Urushihara, she opened the cabinet and took out a mismatched assortment of tea cups. The demon lord's tactician made sure to maximize the utility of the Army's budget by purchasing whatever was on clearance.

"But surely, Sire, there must be a means of assuring victory in the upcoming battle? Isn't it too early to surrender?" Ashiya shook his head.

Emi's phone chimed again. She let out an annoyed grunt.

Sighing, Maou rested his palm on his cheek and stared blankly out the window. "Since Sariel was the one who threw down the gauntlet, I'd wager he's a lot more prepared than we are. We'll have one week starting from tomorrow. Ugh, what idiot at corporate thought chocolate fries were a good idea?"

"I see. So we're possibly battling with inferior weaponry?"

Another ill-timed giggle erupted from Alas Ramus.

Ashiya gave a wry smile and poured tea into Maou's cup. "Well, what does Milord always do when under overwhelming circumstances?" He passed the pot over to Suzuno.

"Suffer a crushing defeat then get shuttled off to another world to live a pauper's existence?" Emi said, throwing her phone in her purse with frustration.

"I will NOT suffer japes at his Majesty's war council!"

From the sink, Urushihara called out, "You're leaving out the fallen angel but having a strategy meeting with a high school girl? Did you forget you had more than one demon general?"

Maou ignored the remark and threw Emi a cutting glance. Dishes clattered passive-aggressively in the background. "Look, Emi, if you're going to take out your frustrations on me, then maybe you should just go home. Or maybe I can ask Kisaki to set you up a-whatever-she-said costume, too."

"Cupid," said Suzuno, patiently sipping her tea.

Emi stared blankly. "You mean you don't know who Cupid is?"

"I, uh…" Maou floundered. "Well, if Kisaki thought it was terrifying enough to motivate me…"

"Oh, it is," she grinned. "Beyond terrifying. Melt-your-brain scary."

"So," Ashiya said, "then this Cupid is a demon?"

"Ashiya-san," Chiho said patiently. "Emi's making things up. Valentine's Day is a day of love and romance! You know, hearts and chocolate." Her eyes went out of focus for a bit. "Kisses."

Over the sound of running water, Urushihara called out, "Speaking of hearts, someone's wearing one on their sleeve."

"You shush."

"And this Cupid is a holy saint?" Ashiya continued.

"He's an…" Chiho paused, as if she were delivering bad news, "…angel. Whoever he shoots with his arrows falls in love with the first person they see. He's a matchmaker."

"Hmph. A mischievous knave, more like." Ashiya leaned over to Maou. "The power to make people fall in love?"

"Sounds very similar to a high-level will enchantment," the demon lord mused.

"Yes. Typically white magic doesn't force compulsions. Sasaki-san, are you sure this Cupid wasn't a demon?"

Emi rolled her eyes. "Seriously, you guys know every minor detail about Obon but didn't read up on Valentine's Day at all?"

"It's just not our thing!" Maou said defensively. "Our research was all about getting our powers back. Valentine's Day is about … _good feelings_." He made a face and crossed his arms. "Even if there were something real in its mythos, it wouldn't benefit us, so we didn't look into it. Make sense?"

"You do justify your ignorance well. It's a holy feast day for the Church here," said Suzuno.

"But," interrupted Emi, "it's also a secular day celebrating love. Traditionally in Japan, women give chocolate to the men that they're interested in romantically, or out of obligation to friends, coworkers, neighb—"

"Obligation. Sounds real romantic." Maou shrugged. "Whatever. It's not really that bad at all. So he's an angel."

Suzuno, keeping her expression neutral, grabbed the teapot to pour another cup, "…Cupid is sometimes depicted as a fat, chubby baby."

"Suzu-neechan?" Alas Ramus clambered up over to her. Suzuno let a small smile play on her lips and responded by giving her a tight hug.

"Is..that..so?" Maou took a big gulp of tea.

Urushihara shut the water off and walked over. "Yeah, all he wears is a diaper and a quiver. It's adorable. Where's my cup?"

"You were busy washing the dishes," Suzuno replied primly.

"Wait wait wait, WHAT?! Urushihara!"

Emi burst out laughing.

"Seriously, it's not funny. I want tea too."

"We've just emptied the pot, so go put some more on." Suzuno said firmly, and handed the pot to the fallen angel.

"No, wait, you're not saying anything else about the diaper?!"

"It's sometimes a loincloth, no big." Urushihara scoffed in Suzuno's direction but dutifully went to put the tea back on. She gave a slight nod of thanks in return.

Emi continued giggling, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes. "All this time you had no idea? Oh, that's just…"

"Emi," Chiho chided. "Don't laugh at the idea of Maou-san… completely exposing his body…" She fell silent.

"Appearing in such a fashion would sully Milord's image!," Ashiya cried. "It would truly do a disservice to his utter fearsomeness to imagine Maou-sama in … a.. Ugh! I won't let the word cross my lips."

"I get it! I get it!" Maou screamed. "Okay, I can't lose!"

Ashiya straightened, giving a salute. "Maou-sama, I was unaware of what a dire situation has befallen you. Whatever you require of us to defend the honor of Demon Castle, your faithful warriors are prepared to give it our all."

Urushihara shuffled back to the table, put the teapot down and began pouring himself a cup. "Sure, sure."

Ashiya shot Urushihara a sidelong glance. "Lucifer, think of the worst-case possible outcome. Maou-sama, bereft of any social standing, the most valuable currency in this world. Aside from actual currency. After losing this bet, he becomes a laughingstock—"

"Let's not imagine this too well, Ashiya," Maou interjected.

"—unable to sell anything, and his manager is forced to fire him. And where does that leave you and your cable subscription? Do you want to live _without wi-fi?!_"

"That's taking it pretty far even for a worst-case scenario."

Urushihara mused for a second. "I'm in, if only because this promises to be the most interesting thing that's happened this month."

Suzuno said nothing, but poured herself another cup of tea.

Maou thought for a moment. "Well, currently we don't have any reconnaissance on Sentucky's strategy. Ashiya, I'm going to need you to look into SFC's seasonal menu. Expense any purchases in the name of the campaign."

"I can do whatever my lord requires," he said with a bow.

"Urushihara, I'll need you to look into their local web campaign."

"Is sabotage an option?"

"No, we play this clean. Sariel can disqualify us, and that might shame Kisaki-san more than losing outright…"

"Only if he finds out."

"Hmph. I can do the opinion and marketing research," said Emi, "Obviously, catering to women's tastes is outside your skill set."

"Emilia! Are you joining—"

"No, no," she shook her head at the demon general, "but Chiho and I are employees of MgRonald's, too."

At the mention of her name, Chiho snapped out of her reverie. "Oh, uh, yes! Thanks, Yusa-san."

"Even if supporting Kisaki-san means saving Maou's sorry ass, I'll just have to do it." She turned her gaze to Maou. "As much as I'd like to see you fail."

"…Gee, thanks. I'll accept as I'm desperate for even the most useless allies," Maou said flatly, "Here's the overall strategy. We—well, I— am currently under the gun here. We can determine the best means of attack as we go." A gleam shone in his eye. "But our goal should be to overwhelm Sariel with superior force at the outset that will break their morale."

"I love it when Milord is so decisive."

Maou grinned. "When they lose momentum, we can widen the gap and pull away with the sales numbers." He clenched his fist. "And then Sentucky will be utterly decimated by the power of the Hatagaya MgRonald's!"

Chiho softly clapped, a slight blush in her cheeks. Ashiya gave a standing ovation, "Masterful plan!"

"Thank you, Ashiya! Tomorrow dawns the day of our inevitable victory!"

The demons and Chiho stood up and cheered. Emi clapped her hand over her forehead and muttered quietly to herself, "Good grief."


End file.
